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Judging and Social Media

February 5, 2014 — 1 Comment

Judging and Social Media

Most of the time I hate judgement and I have seen plenty of it lately…mostly on Facebook.

People judge Philip Seymore Hoffman for his drug overdose, they judge the Seattle Seahawks player for loosing his cool after heading to the Super Bowl, they judge Payton Manning for saying something nice to Richard Sherman after his injury, they judge Jahi McMath’s family for wanting to give her time and let’s not even touch on the Coke Commercial that aired during the Super Bowl and has caused such a controversy.

I’m not naive enough to say,“why can’t we all just get along?” People do have a right to their opinions and a right to express them. Let’s just say it makes me sick to read most of them. I have friends on both sides of every issue named above and more.

The ironic thing is that when people disagree they end up judging the person and doing the exact same thing on the other side of issue.

Cs Lewis quote, missy photo

Mercy Over Judgement

James 2:13 says, “There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when he judges you.”

As C.S.Lewis says in his quote above, we don’t really know a persons temptations, their opportunities, their struggles. Only when a person walks through the exact situation you are in do they have a glimpse of what you are going through. I am learning this by going through my grief journey.

I read a really good blog the other day on Payton Manning being a loser.

I watched on the news this morning Joseph Shrand,MD. speak on drug addiction. I liked his compassion so went and found this blog he had written in Psychology Today and ordered his book.  (We sure do get a lot done in Michigan when we are buried in the snow.)

Social Media and Your Mouth

Social Media has opened up the opportunity for us to spout off a lot of opinions and have them broadcast far and wide. One wrong tweet and your career could be over.

Yesterday was Facebook’s 10 year anniversary, and they did a really cool thing which was to allow people to LOOK BACK via a video of highlights of our life on Facebook in one minute. The one thing that stood out to me was that 99% of the video’s were mostly about family events and milestones.

Do you think our friends would have watched so many if they were all about our careers?


What can you ever really know of other people’s souls— of their temptations, their opportunities, their struggles? One soul in the whole creation you do know: and it is the only one whose fate is placed in your hands. —C. S.LEWIS

There is a reason scrolling on by is so easy.

How are you, Missy Caulk?

ann arbor sceneFor all my life I have gone by the name Missy. Now that I am writing a blog on the death of my son, Jamie and a book to be released in October (two-year anniversary of my son’s death) I am using Melissa Caulk.

I am doing this because being a licensed Real Estate Broker in Michigan the name Missy is all over the internet associated with Missy.

The Spring market in Ann Arbor is crazy…good crazy. Homes are selling very quickly and we are still very low on inventory. Right now my paying job,  real estate is consuming my life this time of year.

That’s ok…that’s life.

I’m still trying to catch up financially from the cost of funerals for Jamie and Lillian one month apart in 2011. The initial days and month I was still numb and in shock of their deaths, therefore, real estate took a very back seat…ok… I didn’t work for 4 months.

I am playing catch up on so many things in my career.


Grief is like the waves of an ocean I have read probably every book on grief published. Well…almost. Some more than once. Things that made no sense at the time, make sense now.

I read that grief was like waves in the ocean. Sometimes it is calm and peaceful and other times when a storm is coming it produces violent waves.

I get that now, but I didn’t then.


I have a great editor Janet Benge, helping with my book. My friend Renee Meloche, in Ann Arbor who is an author herself referred Janet to me. Janet and her husband Geoff, learned their craft of writing from John and Elizabeth Sherrill, who wrote The Cross and the Switchblade, The Hiding Place, God Smuggler, and many other classic Christian books.

Together they have written over 150 books.

Heroes of History by Janet and Geoff Benge

Writing our story is hard work

I’ve been blogging in the real estate sphere since 2006 being in the top 15 of most subscribed bloggers on the ActiveRain Real Estate Network of 341,105 professional members. I am still amazed at that because I rarely blog there much anymore.

I’ve had the privilege of meeting so many people from my blogging efforts on ActiveRain in real life and become really connected with agents across the United States and Canada.

They were some of my supportive allies when I lost my child.

Blogging is not like writing a book, at least not for me. Although I’ve always tried to be transparent in my real estate blogging, Janet is gently yet emotionally pulling our story out of me. Digging deep to remember the emotions of what we went through at Vanderbilt when I heard the news about Jamie.

When Janet sends me a Chapter to “edit” or “add to” or provide “more details”, I ask my family to help so we can    combine our memories together. After a few times of that they (yes all of them) politely say “no” or “later mom”.

I get it.

It is hard.

Like most people Janet and Geoff had not heard about “brain death” and the reality that you are still alive when your organs are taken. She felt I had a story to tell and thankfully decided to work with me.

Although some of what I write here on will be included in the book, in order to help families going through a traumatic event in their lives and trying to grasp what the doctors mean when they say “brain death,”it is our story from the time I got the call on my way down to Nashville in hopes of celebrating my granddaughter Presley’s birthday. MiMi and Presley Ann on 1st birthday

If you are following this blog don’t expect it to be a rehash of all I have written here it is not.

I am so thankful I have Janet to hold my hand through the journey of writing and telling our story.

Will you help get our story out, by subscribing, tweeting within your sphere of influence or sending this blog? I sure would appreciate it.